100 Days

So the Knot reminded me today that there are 100 days remaining until our wedding. Wow, is time flying! It seems like just yesterday I started this blog, but really it's been over 3 months!

I do feel like we've accomplished a great deal in the 4 months and 2 days we've been engaged. But there's certainly much more to do in the 100 days remaining!

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So the full-time job thing. If you're not married or engaged, you might want to stop here. Because if I had heard this several years ago, I know exactly what I would've done: rolled my eyes and said "boo hoo." And, really, you have a right to do that. Yes, we could've run off to Vegas and spent very few hours planning our wedding. But ever since I was little, I've pictured myself having a church wedding surrounded by friends and family.

Still with me?

It would be easy to spend 40 hours a week planning a wedding. I'm finally starting to understand why people hire wedding planners. While it wasn't in the budget for us, I imagine it's great to have someone else making the calls, tracking down vendors and actually able to work on the wedding during the day, during the week.

Because by the time I get out of work, a lot of these places I need to call are closed. Some are also unavailable on the weekends. I feel guilty sitting at my desk at work taking calls on my cell phone from a vendor (it hasn't happened that often, and believe me, I certainly "make up" any time spent on the phone). But when the vendor only works 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. every fourth Tuesday when there's a full moon, well, then I'm going to have to talk during my workday.

I just wonder how other brides handle it. Do you feel guilty? Do you get frustrated? Why does something that should be simple (I'm going to call this person and schedule an appointment) always turn into a much more time-consuming task? (3 phone messages later, you make contact with the person, only to find out she will not be able to help you and you have to start all over.)

I'm now beginning to understand why in the past engaged friends have sort of "disappeared" while planning their weddings. And when I did see them, they would often have some story of a future in-law problem, or a vendor backing out, and a sort of glazed/exhausted look in their eyes. I didn't want to be this person. (Remember how I started this out aiming to be a "laid back bride"?)

But I'm afraid I have become this exhausted/over-busy person. Unbeknownst to me, a friend recently had been wanting to talk to me for awhile (in person) about some pretty serious stuff, and she finally called me at 11 p.m. on a Friday night - because in-person just wasn't happening. We talked and everything is OK, but I feel horrible. Am I so self-involved and involved in planning the wedding that I am not able to be there for my friends? This is not the kind of person I want to be. Yes, marriages are forever, but so are friends, I hope. And a wedding? Yep, still just a day.

So, brides - future and former - how do you/did you balance a 40-plus hour a week job and wedding planning, and still have time to be there for your friends, work out so you can fit into your wedding dress, eat actual meals (tonight's dinner was part of a future Raising the Bar story for CiN; last night was a bagel, yogurt and chips at 10:45 p.m.) and keep your place from looking like a tornado came through scattering registry info, tuxedo brochures and Bride magazines everywhere?

Share your sanity saving tips! All answers welcome!