Hurry up and Wait

Took a break from the wedding plans to spend the weekend with 17 teenagers on a church retreat. That sorta makes wedding planning seem easy! Actually the kids were great and the setting was beautiful - and thank goodness it didn't rain! I could've done some wedding work on Sunday, but instead John and I went on a 21-mile bike ride from Newtown to north of Milford. Such a gorgeous day.

Tonight we were supposed to meet with the priest who is presiding at our wedding, but I stayed home from work sick. Thankfully I'm feeling mostly better by now, but I spent most of the day in bed and on the couch. We decided to reschedule. I wasn't sure if I'd be up for a meeting tonight. So now we'll meet with him next Tuesday!

In other wedding news, shower invitations for the first shower have gone out, and I talked to my sister about the bachelorette weekend last night.

I know there are a few things we'll need to do within the next week or so - including looking at wedding rings! Plus we need to start picking out music for the ceremony, the readings, etc. And we still need to ask a few people to do things like the readings, distributing Communion, etc.

But right now, I'm really just waiting for things to come in - my dress, the bridesmaids dresses, the invitations.

I know things will kick into fast gear quite soon! Till then ...

100 Days

So the Knot reminded me today that there are 100 days remaining until our wedding. Wow, is time flying! It seems like just yesterday I started this blog, but really it's been over 3 months!

I do feel like we've accomplished a great deal in the 4 months and 2 days we've been engaged. But there's certainly much more to do in the 100 days remaining!

****

So the full-time job thing. If you're not married or engaged, you might want to stop here. Because if I had heard this several years ago, I know exactly what I would've done: rolled my eyes and said "boo hoo." And, really, you have a right to do that. Yes, we could've run off to Vegas and spent very few hours planning our wedding. But ever since I was little, I've pictured myself having a church wedding surrounded by friends and family.

Still with me?

It would be easy to spend 40 hours a week planning a wedding. I'm finally starting to understand why people hire wedding planners. While it wasn't in the budget for us, I imagine it's great to have someone else making the calls, tracking down vendors and actually able to work on the wedding during the day, during the week.

Because by the time I get out of work, a lot of these places I need to call are closed. Some are also unavailable on the weekends. I feel guilty sitting at my desk at work taking calls on my cell phone from a vendor (it hasn't happened that often, and believe me, I certainly "make up" any time spent on the phone). But when the vendor only works 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. every fourth Tuesday when there's a full moon, well, then I'm going to have to talk during my workday.

I just wonder how other brides handle it. Do you feel guilty? Do you get frustrated? Why does something that should be simple (I'm going to call this person and schedule an appointment) always turn into a much more time-consuming task? (3 phone messages later, you make contact with the person, only to find out she will not be able to help you and you have to start all over.)

I'm now beginning to understand why in the past engaged friends have sort of "disappeared" while planning their weddings. And when I did see them, they would often have some story of a future in-law problem, or a vendor backing out, and a sort of glazed/exhausted look in their eyes. I didn't want to be this person. (Remember how I started this out aiming to be a "laid back bride"?)

But I'm afraid I have become this exhausted/over-busy person. Unbeknownst to me, a friend recently had been wanting to talk to me for awhile (in person) about some pretty serious stuff, and she finally called me at 11 p.m. on a Friday night - because in-person just wasn't happening. We talked and everything is OK, but I feel horrible. Am I so self-involved and involved in planning the wedding that I am not able to be there for my friends? This is not the kind of person I want to be. Yes, marriages are forever, but so are friends, I hope. And a wedding? Yep, still just a day.

So, brides - future and former - how do you/did you balance a 40-plus hour a week job and wedding planning, and still have time to be there for your friends, work out so you can fit into your wedding dress, eat actual meals (tonight's dinner was part of a future Raising the Bar story for CiN; last night was a bagel, yogurt and chips at 10:45 p.m.) and keep your place from looking like a tornado came through scattering registry info, tuxedo brochures and Bride magazines everywhere?

Share your sanity saving tips! All answers welcome!

Or maybe Thursday

So I'm going to save that "wedding planning is a full-time job" post for tomorrow.

I never updated how my weekend's list went. Quite good, thankfully! The invitations (obviously) were ordered, and the proof came in my email today. Aside from us forgetting to put the name of who the response cards are to go to (I don't really think there was a space for that though!), they look good to me!

And I did visit 3 big box stores in the Ridge Road/Avenue area looking for veils. I found one for about $7, and I bought it. I don't know if I'll use it, but I'll experiment at least. If I don't use it, I'll donate it to the next bachelorette party I attend!

I also made a list of some limo companies (technically I did this Monday night). John actually volunteered to call them, so I passed that job and list onto him. Not sure when he'll have time because he's as busy as I am over the next few days.

Sorry for a rather boring post, but I wanted to get one in today. And if anyone has any questions or suggestions, let me know!

In the meantime, enjoy this picture of my adorable baby cousin!

Invitations Update!

I just received a phone call from a manager, and the store is going to honor the original quoted discount - which I did not even ask for in the email. The manager also said she will make sure that employees understand and explain correctly to customers what discounts apply to what products - and look for a better picture for the Web site.

I think that is good business on the store's part, and I am very pleased with the outcome.

This situation is one of the impetuses my next planned post: Wedding planning is becoming a second full-time job. Check back, probably tomorrow - must work at my regular full-time job right now. (I just learned that Mufasa is played by a former college football player in the Lion King coming to the Aronoff! How strange yet interesting ...)

The invitation saga

(Slightly edited to keep identifying info out)

Date: Monday, March 19, 2007 7:29 PM
From: Katie Kelley
To: "InvitationStore"@________.com
Subject: thank you and a concern

Ms. X,

I would like to thank you and your staff for helping me today on the phone with an error my fiance and I discovered on the invitation order we placed yesterday. I appreciate being able to change it - and I hope my fax made it through ok after your power outage! It must've been a crazy day!

Unfortunately, I think your staffer A. yesterday must've misunderstood your policy when she told us that ALL of the pieces we ordered - our invitations with the matching reply card and reception card - would all be 50% off [because of your current special]. She even showed us the numbers and told us the figure we would get back.

Today I was informed that would not be the case, that the reception and reply card are only 30% off.

The picture on your web site is also quite misleading as several of the cards obviously state RECEPTION on them. With the headline that invitations are 50% off, it would lead people to obviously think the items in the picture are part of the 50% off deal.

I would urge you to communicate this information to your staff so further misunderstandings do not occur. I would also like to suggest that a better representative picture be placed on your Web site, and that staff be clear up front that all invitation enclosures are NOT 50% off.

Thanks again for the assistance in correcting our error, and I appreciate your time in reading my concern about the pricing issue.

Sincerely,
Katie Kelley
513-###-####

****

I think I was pretty restrained. The difference boils down to only a two-figure price (which of course could feed a few more people at our reception!), so it's really the principle of the matter.

15 Weeks to go

I haven't been doing a whole lot of wedding-related things this week. The calm before the storm, perhaps?

We do now have lodging reserved for both Kauai and Maui. Come to find out "Freedom Rate" is really the same exact room. Just cheaper. That seems silly. I mean if two identical of anything are available and one is $50 less, is there someone who wouldn't go for the lower price? Whatever.

I also just scheduled our tasting and found out that our reception place has hired a new wedding coordinator. The former one left within weeks of us booking the venue in December. The interim person handling weddings in the meantime has been working two jobs. So hopefully we will get along well.

I don't want to overplan myself again this weekend because I am co-hosting a going away party at my house, so I'll be focused on that all day tomorrow.

As far as Sunday, here are the goals

1. Order invitations. Really, this time.
2. Research limos. Seriously. This weekend.
3. Start looking for veils. I've heard you can buy them at discount stores, so I want to investigate this. Anyone have any tips on this?

Listening in to one side of the phone call to Maui hotel

(From memory; not verbatim)

John: (after hitting several buttons) We're trying to reserve a room for your hotel, and on [travel web site] it says "Studio Garden View" and "Studio Garden View Freedom Rate." (The price difference was about $55/night) What's the difference in what you get?

(representative speaks)

John: You say the freedom rate has less amenities. What does that mean? What kind of amenities?

(representative speaks)

John: I mean, does it have sheets?

(r s)

John: Good. Does it have a TV?

(r s)

John: A TV, you know, a TELEVISION?

(r s)

John: Does it come with breakfast or anything?

(r s)

John: You don't know? ... You just know it has less amenities.

Me, whispering to John: Ask if it has a kitchen?

John: Does freedom rate mean no kitchen?

(r s)

John: You don't know. Well, is there someone who I can call at the ACTUAL location who might know?

(r s)

John: OK, let me write that down. Yeah, thanks.

(Hangs up. Begins dialing again. Pushes more buttons.)

John: Hi, my name is John, and I was talking to someone at central reservations and had some questions they couldn't answer. Could you call me back at ....?

Me: You got voice mail!?

John: Yeah.

Conclusion: Kauai, booked. Maui: still waiting to discover what the elusive "freedom rate" means, which appears nowhere that we could find on the hotel's web site.