Adventures in returns

(Not the actual item I returned. Just a representation!)

So this past weekend, I made the first of returns/exchanges from the registry. Two people literally shopped at the same time and gave us duplicate gifts. And one of our gifts that had been ordered online (and shipped) arrived chipped.

So I had two missions:
1. Return several small items and get a credit.
2. Exchange chipped item for non-chipped item.

I tell the nice salesperson what I want to do. She takes me over to bridal, asks all the requisite questions, takes my items, enters them in to the computer, prints things out.

SIDE NOTE: While this is going on another couple walks in to make some adjustments on their registry. When the woman spells her name, I realize she has basically my same name - different spellings both first and last. She is getting married the week after me. Her fiance's name is not John, thankfully. I find this very strange and amusing and pay little attention to what the salesperson is doing while making surprised comments such as "wow," "that's crazy." "seriously." "do you get your name spelled wrong all the time too?"

The salesperson finishes up, hands me a receipt and an "Easy Exchange" card. I ask about the exchange of "chip." Whoops, she forgot about that, but there probably isn't one at this location, so she'll need to order one. Fine by me. She hands me off to another woman and says "Can you order her this?" Salesperson #2 says yes.

Off we go to a register. I am carrying the original gift receipts, the new receipt and the card. SP2 asks me more questions (name, address, etc. etc.), and gets a bit huffy when I ask about having it shipped to my in-laws where are gifts are going: "I just need the CUSTOMER address."

I ask if she needs this Easy Exchange card. SP2 looks irritated and asks where I got it. I tell her from SP1. She asks for my info again. Types stuff in. Does something with the card. Then she asks if I want to pay for the non-chipped item with my store credit card.

I'm like "NO. This was a gift. It was chipped. See." (I open box and show her the chip.) "I'm not paying for anything. I want to exchange this. You don't have one here."

Now she looks puzzled and irritated. She says something about shipping. I repeat that I am NOT paying for shipping; didn't the original sender pay for shipping? She goes to get SP1, who shows her how to write off the shipping. For some reason SP2 says she has to credit an Easy Exchange card for that. Whatever. I tell her I'm getting confused. She looks at me and says "Why are you getting confused?"

Now I'm getting pretty irritated. She has me thoroughly confused. She seems thoroughly confused. Then she tells me I have a credit for like $20 or so more than my original credit. I am still confused. I thought she needed to remove the money from the Easy Exchange card. She asked why there was already money on the card. I said I assumed SP1 put it on. She wants to know why I didn't say that. Well, because she didn't ask.

(My cell phone rings and I tell John I'll call him back because I can't talk.)

Now she's more irritated. And says she needs to issue a second card. SP1 comes back and they start talking about what to do. And something about tax, and shipping. And then the numbers are off by 2 cents. And I'm beginning not to care. And I'm wondering if I will ever get "chip" replaced.

And she says she has to charge more for "non-chip" because this is the current price, but she will credit the difference. And I continue to feel more confused.

Eventually I leave the store. With two Easy Exchange cards. Each of them has a receipt taped to it showing how much is on it. I am not at all sure they are for the right or even close to right amount. I have ceased to care. I begin to envision what this might be like in mid-July if we get other duplicates. I begin to think we could take all the ice buckets we get and use them for bathroom storage. (Side note 2: We don't even have one ice bucket yet, but it seems to be the generic "ohmygodwegot7ofthem" item.)

I rehash all this to my mom who has the misfortune of calling about 1 minute later. And then I resume my search for a light blue short-sleeve cropped cardigan for the rehearsal dinner. I continue to be unsuccessful.

Anyone have any ideas?