See No. 10. Photo by David Sorcher.1. "So is everything finished?"
If you think everything could possibly be finished, we've got an air conditioner at the South Pole we'd like to sell you.
2. Nothing
Return those reply cards, call the bride back, return emails. There's a lot to be done without tracking down forgetful guests/missing vendors
3. "Enjoy every minute of it. It all goes so fast. It's magical."
When there's stress, this is not what we need to hear.
4. "I don't like that (color/flower choice/reading/song)."
That's just too bad, isn't it?
5. "You're starting to act like a bridezilla."
Things might get violent.
6. "Are you feeling stressed yet?"
See No. 1. Of course we're feeling stressed. We're probably not sleeping so well either … and our house is a mess.
7. "So, did you lose the weight you were planning to lose?"
Especially don't say this if we're eating an ice cream cone, a piece of cheesecake or a candy bar.
8. "Is there anything you want that's not on your registry?"
Well, we registered for what we want. And it would be impolite to say we want money, a house in the Caribbean or a new wardrobe.
9. "You're so organized, I bet you've got everything under control."
If by under control you mean the gifts have migrated to every room of the house, we still guiltily have the church hymnal we borrowed, and we still haven't booked the nail appointment or bought shoes, sure. All under control.
10. "Even though you just invited the two of us, we'll be bringing Great Aunt-twice removed Helga, our 13-month-old quintuplets, our foreign exchange student from Papua New Guinea, Fred the donkey and Teddy Ruxpin to the wedding."
(OK, no one actually says this, they just put a bigger number on the reply card. Whether our reception is in the back yard, a hall or the church basement, there's only so much room. If we wanted your donkey there, he would've gotten an invitation.)
Compiled from personal experience, the advice of friends and random thoughts. Some details changed to protect the innocent/guilty. Please take all of this in good humor!
Any more suggestions?
the hard part is not holding a grudge on the poor souls who RSVPed but didn't show up to the reception and not think about how much money they cost you in the plates you had to pay for that didn't get eaten....i think we had 10 of our 120 reception guests not show up, the worst part was that most of them were coworkers that were only invited out of courtesy....
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